Kobe Bryant Ain’t Got Nothin’ On Me
April 9, 2009

I don’t give a damn about Kobe jumping over an Astin Martin.  Can he get up over a guy on tricycle while registering for a conference on a very expensive laptop?

No, he probably can’t.  But I can.

Yep, that’s me…  in a promo for Blogs With Balls.  What’s that?

Blogs With Balls is a series of regional social sports blogger and new media gatherings featuring speakers and panelists specifically focused on sports fans, writers, sites, teams, athletes and companies; and their ability to maximize new media outlets for promotion and advancement.

Our first event, Blogs with Balls 1.0, is set to take place on June 13, 2009 in New York City:

Click here to register.  I didn’t risk my life for nothing.

Kobe’s Wife is a Beotch
March 25, 2009

Since I’m getting really tired watching the Magic drain open 3s and Dwight Howard grab every rebound, I figured I’d post this tidbit about Vanessa Bryant:

Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper, who claims Vanessa was incredibly abusive — even demanding that she put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve a tag from her blouse. Maria Jimenez claims Vanessa called her “lazy, slow, dumb, a f—ing liar, and f—ing sh-t.” In the lawsuit filed in Superior Court in Orange County, Jimenez claims Vanessa accused her of stealing her (mouth) retainer. Jimenez says it got so bad — Vanessa allegedly “badgered, harassed and humiliated Maria by yelling and screaming at Maria and criticizing her in front of Kobe, the Bryants’ children, employees and other people in the household” — she threatened to quit but Kobe talked her out of it.

The final straw: When Vanessa went nuclear because Maria put an expensive blouse in the washer. Vanessa demanded that Maria put her hand in a bag of dog feces to retrieve the price tag for the blouse. Maria says she wanted to quit and Vanessa responded that she “had to work until payday to pay for the $690 blouse, which she did.” Maria is suing for wrongful discharge, invasion of privacy and emotional distress and unpaid wages.

Sounds like Kobe has his hands full with this broad. Then again – he is a (alleged) rapist and adulterer. What are the chances these kids stay together after Kobe retires and is forced to spend all his time with this psycho?

Kobe Bryant Confuses NBA Players
March 24, 2009

player-poll

SI is out with a new NBA player poll:  Which opposing NBA player would you most like on your team.

Lebron is #1, at 32%.  Understandable.  He’s a freak.  He’s the best player on the planet right now.  And his best days are still ahead of him.

#2 is Kobe Bryant, at 13%.  The funny thing is, if you click the image above, you’ll see that Kobe finished 3rd in the “which player would you LEAST want on your team.”  NBA players can’t even figure out what to think about that guy.

KG is 4th on the list, tied with Chris Paul.  That’s how good KG is.  He’s in the tail end of his career and players STILL want him on their team.  Same with Nash.  Chris Paul probably should feel a little slighted.  I don’t understand why more players wouldn’t want him on their team.

Caption These
February 16, 2009

Two great photos from yesterday… and they deserve great captions.  Dive into them in the comments section.

Kobe Fears Dog Poop
January 29, 2009

Here’s a blurb from Kobe Bryant’s interview with Complex.com (whatever that is):

Complex.com: Talk to me about a private failure that wasn’t in the headlines, the thing that just keeps you up at night. Something people can relate to. Not necessarily a public thing, but a thing you twist and turn over.

Kobe Bryant: [Long pause] Dog—-? Like, I hate dog—-. I have a dog and I do not clean the crap outside. It’s a phobia. It drives me crazy. You wake up in the morning and you think, Damn, this big ol’ German shepherd probably just took a crap outside in the yard, and I gotta wake up and go pick it up. That is something that keeps me tossin’ and turnin’. Does that qualify?

It’s time to get creative people. Let’s parlay this into some cool signs at the Garden on Feb. 5th.

Blogger MVP/ROY Voting: The Red’s Army Edition
January 27, 2009

We bloggers have come together again to show actual MVP and Rookie of the Year voters how it’s done.  This is round 6… and we’re hosting this sucker right here (you can find past votes here).  Joining me in the voting are these fine folks:

David Arnott:  Rufus on Fire
Rob D: nbamate.com
Andrew Feinstein:  Denver Stiffs
Wyn Douglas:  Canis Hoopus
MyNetsForLife:  Nets Daily
Brett Hainline:  Queen City Hoops
Dan Feldman:  Piston Powered
Royce Young:  Daily Thunder
Jeff Sack:  Slam Dunk Central and Le Basketbawl
Alex Boeder:  BrewHoop
James Borbath: Dino Nation
Michael Schwartz: Valley of the Suns
Joshua Coleman: 3 Shades of Blue
Don Landrigan:  With Malice
David Clark:  The Dream Shake
College Wolf:  TWolves Blog
Jeremy Schmidt:  www.bucksketball.blogspot.com
Without further ado:

MVP:

lebron-james

Lebron James (180 points)

DinoNation: I have run out of words. Can we just name him the MVP Elect and wait for his crowning at the end of the year

Jeff Sack: By the year 2030 there will be a replica of Mount Rushmore behind the Basketball Hall Of Fame in Springfield, Mass. instead of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt, this one will be comprised of Larry, Magic, Michael, and LeBron.

David Arnott:  It feels like in any other year, Howard or Wade would be runaway choices for MVP at this point, but they’re damned to live in the LeBron Era

Kobe Bryant (145 points)

Clark: Though Laker fans probably want to put Bynum in the Hall of Fame after his 42 point/15 rebound game.  It’s still Kobe’s team.
College Wolf: Bah!  If only they’d stop winning games!  In honor of the Lakers’ sterling record, I have again moved him up one spot for this edition.  Don’t complain Lakers fans, at least I didn’t entirely leave him off the ballot out of spite.

Chris Paul  (138 points)

Jeff Sack:  If you watch Paul on an every night basis, you can actually see him evolving each game. Every time he is on the hardwood, he finds a new way to beat you.

Jeremy Schmidt: Chris Paul gives swagger to Peja Stojakovic.  Putting swagger in a sentence with Peja Stojakovic is what an MVP is suppose to do.

Dwight Howard (135 points)

Sack: Can we all agree that Howard is hands down the best pure center in the Association in the present day era?

(more…)

We’ve Been Here Before
January 21, 2009

Ever take a wrong turn somewhere… or miss an exit… and then you have to double back to wherever you’re going?  And on the way, have you ever had a wife or girlfriend in your ear saying “we’re lost… why don’t you pull over?  Why don’t guys ever ask for direction?  Why aren’t you saying anything to me?”  And then you’re like “I KNOW WHERE I’M GOING… JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!”  And so on… and so on… and so on… until you get to back to your route with hardly a missed beat?

Well, that’s this Celtics season.  After a lot of emotional distress, the Celtics are pretty much right back where they were last year.  Be The Three has the stats to prove it.

’07-08                                    ’08-09

Off. Efficiency **    110.2                                     109.8
Def. Efficiency **    98.9                                      99.6
Pace Factor **         90.9                                      91.0
FG%                          47.3                                      48.1
Opp. FG%                42.1                                       42.3
3-point %                38.1                                        37.3

Some interesting stuff there, including a look at how a lot of the players are doing individually (and confirmation of what our eyes see)

CelticsBlog found this interesting post from a Lakers board:  The blueprint for beating the Lakers.

And a few links were posted to funny anti-Kobe videos in response to Chuck’s post last night.  In case you didn’t see them there, I’m posting them here.

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More Kobe Douchiness
January 20, 2009

The most arrogant professional athlete on the planet thinks he could play football for his beloved Eagles:

“I’d be a wide receiver,” said the 6-6, 205-pound Kobe Bryant. “I’d be a bad (man) too.  No more red zone issue,” he explained. “Just throw it over the top. I’m (Randy) Mossin’ it.”

Just what the Eagles need….another version of Terrell Owens. Seriously, does Kobe’s douchiness ever end?

After the jump…one guy who would love to knock his head off.

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Two Great Examples of Kobe’s Douchiness*
January 15, 2009

We’ve been laying off the Lakers and Kobe for a few weeks now. In large part because they’ve been winning and the Celtics have been losing. But we just can’t let Kobe Bryant slide on his latest transgressions.

First, we’ll start with his blatant rip-off of Sam Cassell’s “big balls” dance after making a go-ahead 3 pointer during last night’s game against the Spurs. Too bad the dance was premature, thanks to Roger Mason’s game winner.

But even worse, is news that Mr. Bryant will soon be charging a $50 subscription fee for his web site.

This economy has hit all of us hard. And if you want to survive, you need to treat your assets as a business. You never know when that $30 million a year is going to suddenly vanish into nothing. I mean, that’s not really that much more than the average American family makes, you know? Plus, Kobe loves Cheesecake Factory. Do you know how much that costs?

Kobe Bryant. King Douchebag of the NBA.

*this word officially trademarked by John.

Merry Christmas
December 25, 2008

girl-in-lights

Chuck's "Christmas Tree"

It’s finally here!!  Christmas.  You know what I love?  The fact that the best Christmas gift for Celtics fans is merely the arrival of Christmas itself.

And later, we’ll get another Christmas gift:  A win in LA that will be easier than a lot of people expect.  LA is too outwardly hyped for this game.  They’re measuring themselves against this Celtics team.  That’s why Kobe Bryant says things like this:

“The only stock we put in it is to see where we stand, right at this moment,” Bryant said of today’s game. “It’s like a balance sheet. The Finals is the ultimate revenge.”

And Paul Pierce says things like this:

“We look forward to playing them like we looked forward to playing Philly,” Pierce said, referring the C’s 110-91 victory over the Sixers Tuesday. “That’s just the mind-set of this team. If you all would just be around us and understand our mind-set every day, it’s not like we circled this game or anticipated this matchup.

It seems like such a minor difference… but you’ll see the difference on the court when the Lakers are moving a step too fast.  You’ll know that’s what they’re doing when passes are going behind players, the shots are back-rimming, and they’re committing offensive fouls.  Just something to watch for early… perhaps as the Celtics are building a huge first quarter lead.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, The Celtics gave to me…

12 more months as defending champions

11 Lakers excuses for losing

10 more Rondo triple doubles

9 Tommy Points

8 course dinners for Big Baby

7 C’s in double figures

A 6 year deal for Rajon Rondo

Fiiiiiive minutes for Scaaaaaaaaal…….

4 monster blocks from Perk

3 point bombs from Ray and Eddie

2 straight Finals losses by the Lakers

and a ring for Tony Allen’s pinky!

After the jump, today’s links and a video guaranteed to get us all pumped up for tonight’s game.

(more…)

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