dwight howard

My man-crush on Dwight Howard is now off the charts. 

He has made this dunk contest what its now supposed to be.  At a time where we’ve seen a lot of the dunks before… Howard dropped 4 brand new dunks.  He had the hype…. he had the props… and I’ll even give him a pass on the Superman dunk that wasn’t really a dunk (he threw it through).  Why am I giving him a pass?  Because everyone ever wants to have this photo of himself… and right now the only one ever belongs to Dwight Howard:

dwight howard

 Oh… did I mention that Howard won the dunk contest?  Gerald Green tried some creative stuff… like the “birthday cake” dunk where he blew out a candle before the dunk.  As for the other stuff, Jason Kapono won the 3 point shootout, Derron Williams won that point guard thing, and San Antonio won thzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  At least there was a cute blonde involved in that first event. will ferrell as jackie moon

And by law, I have to post a picture of Will Ferrell as “Jackie Moon” from Semi Pro.  Everything basketball related now has to have Jackie Moon attached to it.  Because its funny.  You see… its Will Ferrell… and he’s in a wig… and he’s playing basketball.

Now… we haven’t signed Jackie Moon as an official endorser of Red’s Army products, but since he’s pitching everything else in creation… let’s just assume that he would if we asked.


22 Responses

  1. Giving the superman almost-dunk a 50 was poor. Fifty is the best score, but Dwight Howard could have made that dunk better by actually dunking the ball. The birthday cake was definitely worth a 50.

    Gerald, if you read and you’re in the slam dunk contest next year (assuming you’re still in the league), you should put a bunch of lipstick on and kiss the glass while dunking. That would be amazing.

  2. Thats Will Ferrell’s real hair

  3. […] Superman’s back. Yes, he is. Over at RedsArmy. […]

  4. Actually, going by the definition of a dunk (a type of basketball shot that is performed when a player jumps in the air and manually powers the ball downward through the basket with one or both of his hands) Howard’s superman dunk actually fit the definition of a dunk since he threw it down into the hoop. So, we can still feel good about ourselves for liking it so much.

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  6. One guy wears a Superman outfit, the other puts a cupcake and candle on the rim. Am I the only one who thinks this is absurd?

  7. Yes, you are.

    The bottom line is that the dunk contest has to be more of a show nowadays because most of the dunks have been done before. So the Superman outfit and the tape just build the anticipation. But even without the outift,that dunk was insane. He took off with two feet inside the free throw line.

    I know its hard for you to understand, since you were so earthbound, even your layups were set shots.

  8. This contest is slowly morphing into a half-time show….where mascots use the trampoline for crazy dunks. But if that’s what you are looking for, than so be it.

  9. I don’t think that’s the case at all. They’re still displaying their own jumping ability…. they’re just getting creative with ways to display it.

    I know when I saw that cape come out, I moved to the edge of my seat. It was fun.

  10. First: that’s no wig. And I, too, believe Jackie Moon should be featured. I’m thinking of getting me some hair like that, too, just for the cool-like factor.

    Second, those dunk were insane! I love that they’ve stepped it up, even if it is in the realm of insanity with cupcakes.

    Bill: love the lipstick idea, though.

    Bigmck: it did occur to me that it was a little Lucky-ish but…I’ve got no issue with Lucky’s tricks. I have to respect that I couldn’t do that (at least not without my blindfold) in a million years.

    Remember when Bird would get out on the court and put on a 3-point show? Why don’t we get things like that at the games anymore?

  11. According to the definition of a slam dunk in the link Patrick provided:

    There are two (2) components required for this particular “field goal” to be classified as a “dunk”: 1) the ball must be thrown into the basketball net in a downward motion where both the ball and players hand(s) are both above the basketball rim, 2) the player attempting the dunk must GRAB the rim once the ball has been released from his hands.

    Dwight Howard never touched the rim. The superman dunk wasn’t a dunk and should not have been scored a 50.

  12. Well Bill… I scored it a 60… with a -10 for not grabbing the rim.

    Good luck to anyone who tries to get an NBA player to put on lipstick.

  13. I voted for Gerald last night. Poor kid was so devastated when he lost. The dunk contest was all he had left. But if he can pull off the lipstick dunk, his career will be revived.

  14. Maybe losing will kick him in the ass and get him to play some basketball. I want him to succeed…but he can’t get off the bench. There’s a reason for that.

  15. So if he didn’t wear the cape, but still threw down that “dunk”…would you still be raving about it?

    I see where you are coming from redsarmy. Reminds me of when my son was a baby…and he loved anything flashy or that had sparkles.

    I’m surprised Kobe isn’t your favorite player…

  16. Dude… its a dunk contest… its SUPPOSED to be fun and flashy. Why do you have to have a pole up your ass about it?

    I’d rather see capes and cupcakes and things like that than the same old thing. Like Gerald’s ‘pass the ball between your legs while wearing your socks’ dunk. At this point… all those guys can do that. Show me something else.

    And yes… if he didn’t have the cape on, I still would have thought it was awesome… but the cape and the whole thing just raised the anticipation. Its like foreplay.

    You probably don’t know much about that either.

  17. did you notice GG’s socks were C’s Green?

  18. Not to mention Howard didn’t deliver…he wears the outfit, cape….takes off from the lane…does a fantastic move…and then “throws” the ball in. It was not a dunk. What a weak finish. The only thing I can equate it to….maybe going 18-0…and then losing to the Giants in the SB.

  19. nobody will sponsor gerald green a shoe because he can jump without it! haha

  20. Are we really that impressed by a 6’11” man dunking?

    I really think Gerald Green was shorted quite a few points for his efforts on Saturday night. Out of all the dunks the entire evening, the best one, in my opinion was the cupcake dunk. It was the most original dunk of the night, but I think the crowd was way into Dwight Howard…

    The judges need to have access to the replays – they clearly don’t see what goes on. They underscored Green’s cupcake dunk and they gave a perfect score to the Superman layup. They obviously are not able to see the entire dunk…

  21. Gerald’s 6’8″… you mean to tell me that what Howard did was because he was 3 inches taller?


    I do agree on the replays. They should have monitors to get the full effect before voting.

  22. “Gerald’s 6′8″… you mean to tell me that what Howard did was because he was 3 inches taller?”

    Yes, because with additional height, typically comes larger hands and wingspan. That is unless you’re Shawn Kemp or Kevin Willis.

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