These Pretzels Are Making Me Thirsty

All Kramer had to do was deliver a simple line:  “These pretzels are making me thirsty” and he would have had a speaking part in a Woody Allen movie. 

But because Kramer is fake… and Seinfeld had to be funny… everyone over-thought the line… and Kramer’s chance at fame blew up in his face.

Well… these Celtics are making me pissy… because they’re blowing it for the same reasons Kramer blew it.  They can’t just keep it simple.  Everyone is over-thinking things.  The Celtics need to ignore all the dramatics… the over emphasis on the mundane… and just do what they do normally. 

The Celtics got here by playing hard, team defense.  They played it in the third quarter, and they made building a 10 point lead look easy.  But for some reason… they got away from it in the 4th.  They started looking for daggers.  They started shooting 3’s off of one pass… so they could shut up the crowd and maybe throw some more hand signals at the Hawks bench. 

So stop crying about getting an individual defender in there to stop Joe Johnson.  We’re not a 1-on-1 defending team.  We’re about helping each other out… which almost no one did on Joe Johnson last night.  We’re about being patient on offense and finding the best possible shot… which we rarely did in the 4th quarter last night.  We’re about quietly putting together a 7-2 run here… and a 6-0 run there… until the other team looks up at the scoreboard and realized they’re down 20.

This isn’t about reinventing the wheel… or making drastic changes… or trying to draw any attention to yourself.  This is about putting everything out of your head, walking out onto that court, and delivering your line like normal. 

“These pretzels are making me thirsty”

And in case you need visual evidence of what happened last night…. here it is:

joe johnson torching C's

Herald:  Celtics stuck in 4th  |  Johnson’s singular success  |  Pierce’s gesture no joke  |  Celtics must get groove back  |  Rondo takes 5th on accolade  |  Teams act up in front of commish  |  C’s stumble at bad time  |  Globe: Leveled  |  Favored now in tight quarters  |  Pierce fined for gesture  |  No ordinary Joe  |  Camerato:  Hawks written off 2 early?  |  AJC:  Hawks knock off angry Celtics  |  ESPN Daily Dime:  Hawks fly past Celtics… again  |  Byron Scott to get COY  |  Lakers sweep  |  Howard goes 20/20 again… Magic eliminate Raps



9 Responses

  1. There are two things that are going to be the downfall of this team, but they are rooted in the same problem:


    Paul Pierce throwing Piru family Gang signs at Al Horford is about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in an NBA game, maybe even dumber than his “band aid on the ear” bit after Game 6 against Indiana 2 years ago. Clearly these Atlanta upstart/rooks are in his head.

    Kevin Garnett is playing like a man who is completely distracted. I’d put $100k on the fact that his new baby, and his overbearing and controlling wife are driving him up the wall, and keeping him up all night on the phone because he’s not home. What kind of Superstar Veteran takes 2 UNANNOUNCED days off from practice right before the playoffs, baby or no baby? Dude is whipped, and it will be his downfall.

    It’s all about handling your business like Men.

    These two are still acting like 12 year olds on the playground, AFTER they just got beat up.

    Celtics fans, prepare yourselves for an early Playoff exit. And nobody could be more pissed about this than me. I spent over $3000 on season tickets and playoffs tickets this year, and got all hyped up thinking “this is our year!!!”

    Clearly, it ain’t.

  2. So you’re giving up after 2 losses?
    No wonder Bibby called the C’s fans “bandwagon fans”…
    The C’s are going all the way this year, and these hawks are certainly not going to stop them, even if it takes the full 7 games.

  3. I’m not giving up.

    they’re giving up. They gave up in the 4th quarter last night when they had a 13 point lead. they gave up las night in the 2nd quarter when they had a 12 point lead.

    I’ll still be there Wednesday night. But until these spoiled little babies start acting like the men they were during the regular season, they aren’t going to win anything.

  4. The Celtics should not even be in this position. A team that has 29 more wins than its opponent. But nevertheless, the Hawks have been phenomenal. A large reason for this is because the Celtics bench has not showed up in Atlanta and the Hawks present alot of mismatches against the Celtics. Josh Smith is firing on all cylinders and spreads the floor so well, that KG has to commit to him on defense and he can’t help when Joe Johnson is driving to the hole.

    The Celtics have too much talent and experience to lose, but I would love to see the Hawks win this one. Unfortunately I have a feeling the Celtics will clean up the series in Boston.

  5. There’s no reason to give up on this team.

    I’ll post something on the front page about this…. but as the team was in locker room last night… they were saying “its ok… we’re going to go home and it will get better”… and Doc stopped them and said “no… don’t rely on going home to make it better…. you guys have got to MAKE it better.”

    You can say what you want about Doc’s in-game decisions….. but he has been in this situation as a player…. so he can speak to it very well.

  6. […] cylinder Stern says game in excellent health Sawx Blog Celtics in fight with Hawks Red’s Army These pretzels are making me thirsty Suspensions coming? Fox Sports Johnson showing star qualities for surprising Hawks Parquet Pride […]

  7. Can I hire you to diagram Cavs plays for And One? This one cracked me up.

  8. Sure… let’s work out a rate. Those things… as you can tell… take an immense amount of time and effort.

  9. I love the Celts period. Ray Allen is the Man: 3-pointers, free throws, driving to the hole, unselfish play, buzzer beaters, etc. Team defense is great, if all the players are great individual defenders also. (week link in the chain theory).


    Im not worried about the Hawks, Im worried about Ray guarding Kobe or Manu in the Finals. Sorry redsarmy, I just needed to vent. I live here in Lakerland, and I don’t know if I can take another summer of F@#*ING Laker Flags hanging from 90% of car windows.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: